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El Capitan

We went to the El Capitan theater with the KP family and brought papa along. First, we went to lunch at The Farm of Beverly Hills at LA Live. We had a gift card there that was one on 104.3 myFM and the last time we tried to use it, their gift card machine was down, so we got our full balance. Next, we headed through LA traffic, parked in a $10 lot and walked to meet our friends! Ooops on that one, we should have parked in the complex at hollywood and highland for $3/4 hours with validation, I guess ya live and learn. If you've never been to El Capitan, you pay to watch the movie in 3D, then they place armbands and you get to go to an outdoor, themed entertainment area. The boys had fun, except both big boys had fevers and the baby was a bit fussy during the movie. Overall, they hung in there pretty well! Thanks to papa for his company, extra set of arms and eyes and for just having a fun date with us. I'm really glad we went. Here are a few more pictures of our fun day...

We are a family of 5 now!

Again, it's been a while since I posted. I really have no other excuse than blaming the busy-ness of life. Since I blogged last, a lot has changed! We now have a family of 5! E was born in December of last year which makes him 7 months old now. He is a little doll and I love him to pieces. C is now 3.5 years old and Z is 4.5 years old. Each little guy brings such joy to me and I love them all for different reasons (isn't that unconditional love at its best?)

Little E

E is still at the age where he can really do no harm still. He is just a sweet, innocent, easy-going little baby. He falls asleep when you lay him down in his crib, in the car, in the stroller, in your arms, really--just about anywhere! He is very mild-mannered, well, except when you are eating. He screeches until you stick something in his mouth! He'll eat his baby food, drink his bottle

and then eat your food. If you stick it in his mouth, it's probably a sure bet that he will like it and continue to eat it. :) Funny boy. We have been making most of his baby food. I have bought some, like the stuff that is hard to make or has too many ingredients. Who would have thought I'd decide to make baby food with the third baby? Well, actually, it's pretty easy. We use the vegetables that we eat at dinner normally and on a regular basis. We have made him green beans, peas, spinach, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, acorn squash, cantaloupe, blueberries, apples, bananas, pears. I'm sure there are more, but the point is that it's easy, with no preservatives or additives and he hasn't refused anything! This little guy melts my heart. His little eyes smile at you, his whole body laughs when he laughs, he squeals and squeaks, he melts into you when you hold him. It's the moments like these that make me never want my babies to grow up. I love him so much.

C-bug is 3.5 years old now. He is such a little character. He comes up with the funniest things and really has no filter when he is going to share them. He is a free-spirited, curious, genuine,

innocent, fun-loving, daring, friendly, talkative, affectionate, impulsive, outgoing little boy. My little C loves talking, eating cake, making silly faces and trying new things. He likes to dream about "rainbows, more rainbows, wishbones and pancakes." He gets, "nightmares when [he] reads monster stories and Sharkmares when [he] reads about sharks." He doesn't do what he doesn't want to do and he HAS to do what he wants to do, even if I've said no six times before he actually does it. He will hug and squeeze you until you burp, fart, spit up or split in two, depending on who he's hugging. He'll climb up on the counter for candy, and down the stairs by way of the banister, open a bag of chocolate chips to eat for breakfast and hide under the baby chair, seek out the little snake peeking 'his cute little face out from behind the boat,' sticking jelly beans up his nose and denying it (even though he had one green jelly bean and now he has 2 green watermelon-smelling marks under his nose.), covering himself in "apple" & "warm vanilla cookie snap" fancy soap at 5:30am because it smelled good. C is so darn funny and never ceases to laugh. Anyone: "Carter, I love you." Carter: "I love you and I said it one, that means I beat you." He loves kissing, hugging and snuggling, except at 0530, he wants to talk, talk and talk. He wiggles, talks, kicks his legs, kicks the wall, gets into stuff, goes downstairs...agh! Hehas no idea how young he is, because he will befriend anyone -- young or old. That little boy can give me so many laughs and so much joy, while he can frustrate me the most. I suppose you've got to take the good with the bad and figure out how to make the most of who is and pray to God to find out how I can help encourage, love and support him.

Next up is my Z. Z is 4.5 years old and he is my little joy. He is a strong-willed, yet compliant, obedient, "strong-but-silent," follow-the-rules little guy. He is bashful, conservative, slow to warm-up, easily embarrassed, easily angered. He doesn't like to be wrong and wants so badly to be praised, helpful and the best. He wants to feel safe and he trusts himself. If something is dangerous and he wants to try it, he wont necessarily trust you in it, but more-so, he has to believe he can trust himself in what he is doing. He is cautious, but willing to try new things. He looks to others for encouragement as he gently leads. If Z knows something is wrong, he

usually wont do it. He does not like playing in the ocean or the waves, but could spend all day in the sand by himself. Z is really good with foresight; he can see a need before it is communicated to him. He likes to troubleshoot things and help. For some reason, everything is times (x) 42! Why? I don't know. " love you so much, x42!" He wakes up quiet, cuddly and mellow. He'll ask questions. Questions you don't necessarily want kids to keep asking. He'll drawn conclusions you don't necessarily want to have to explain. He's funny, bright, and quite the joy. Z is my little side-kick, my little helper and I love having him around. He's the one that goes out and makes everyones bed in the morning and helps to fold towels and baby clothes. Z restocks the toilet paper and straightens the papers up. Sweet boy . I love him.

It is my greatest joy to watch these boys grow up, get to know them better and record some of what they do. I hope to do more. I am so blessed. We are so blessed.

Blog Itch

I'm Baaack! After reading through my past blogs, apparently I get a blogging bug up my but when I have a 10 week old. LoL. Now, I have a little one and a little bigger one. Zack is 16 months now and is a bundle of fun. Tonight he was really grumpy at 530 and I thought we'd never make it to bedtime at 7. Little did I know after throwing a tantrum at dinner time that not too long after would he get a crazy burst of energy. The kid decided he was going to practice his newly mastered skill: running. He ran and ran and ran. And ran some more. Where you ask? All over the living room, hundreds of times. Occasionally he would venture of into the other room, but then come back and run in circles in the living room. LoL. So, I decided to get my fat butt off the couch and join him. We played tag all over the downstairs. It was a blast. One of the greatest memories thus far. We ran, tagged, kicked the ball, ran into walls, played hop over the baby, crawl under the mama, tumble upside-down and everything else. What a blast. The best part is, He'll sleep great tonight!!

Carter is actually 11 weeks old now. He has changed so much in the past 2 weeks. He's getting much bigger. He smiles so big and coos. He spends much more time awake these days and interacting. He nurses some, but is showing disinterest. Bummer. It really sucks I don't make a lot of milk, no matter what I do. I really don't like paying for formula either, but it's what I've gotta do for him. It's not about me anymore.

I can't hang on forever

Ok, so I'm coming to the realization that I have a son just like me! Great. He's only five months and likes to do everything his "ownself." Like, putting peaches in his eyes because he can't figure out smoothly getting the full spoon to his mouth. This also is rough when he has peaches all over his hands and then grabs the white wood blinds because they're within reach, grabbing my face and my hair, rubbing his peach covered face on my nice clean shirt and then ending it all with a screaming fit rubbing his eyes because he's tired. Maybe feeding the baby peaches at night isn't the best idea.

So, I've gone 2 full days now without nursing. He refuses me. My desperate attempts to pacify him with a few drops of mother's milk has completely been rejected for 2 days and I am sad. I can't make him nurse. I can't make him open his mouth for some peaches. I can't sanitize everything he wants to put in his mouth. I'm gonna have to let go a little bit. If I don't, it looks like he's going to make me. Wow. If I had only known how much my mom loved me when I broke her heart time and time again. Mom's are incredible. At least I'm coming to realize this while she's still alive and healthy. I have to realize Zack's on loan to me by God and it's our responsibility to raise him to be a man after God's own heart. Wow.

I really need to get back to church.

Anyway. Other than that, my house is up for sale and I have no place to go. Well, I could live with my parents, but I'm not that desperate yet. We'll see in this market how quickly my house sells. For now, I'm just taking a leap of faith both in the sale of my house and the upbringing of my son. I need to learn to lean more on God's understanding than my own. Things never work out right when they're in my hands. It's a good things I'm not God.

Hindsight #1

A lot has changed since my last post. I have gone back to working nights full time...whew, is that a change!!

Along the same subject as my last post, on my first night back at work, my coworkers made me the cutest scrapbook ever. I absolutely love it. So, the lesson to learn--don't ruin days that can never be taken back because of stupid stuff you don't know about. LoL. If that makes any sense at all! I didn't enjoy the baby shower because I was too busy have hurt feelings (or a pity-party) and I can't ever have that day back to have fun or say goodbye to people leaving. But, like they say, hindsight is 20/20.

Speaking of hindsight, I'm really trying to live life with no regrets, but it seems as though the more time that passes, the more I wish I would have done when it comes to life stuff. I'll have to get into that next time. The boss says he's done sitting here while I type. :)

It was a rough weekend...

So, I had great plans for this weekend. They involved a former teachers baby shower and a co-workers baby show. The former teachers shower was fun, though I didn't really know anybody. I didn't win any games, but I did get to show off Zack, which was fun. I forgot my party favor as I went out the door--bummer!!

But the real bummer was sunday. I really love the co-worker that the baby shower was for. She is beautiful, sweet-spirited, a lot of fun and just the most adorable pregnant woman you've ever seen (and I've seen a lot--I work with them!!). Well, I was doing really well, until she opened a scrapbook that a ton of people put time and effort into personalizing for her so she only had to stick the pictures in it. What a clever idea, huh? It was also really special that 5 people went in to putting together the shower and it went really smoothly. So, I'm sure you're thinking, yeah, what's the problem? Well, the problem is I got really hurt feelings. I mean, I just had Zack 2 1/2 months ago. I've worked with these people full-time for a year and part time as an extern since summer, 2003. Here it goes...Nobody gave me a shower. Like 5 people from work came up to the awesome shower I did have given by my Family. I mean, I got a few presents here and there from co-workers...but I didn't get a shower from them, or a homemade scrapbook, or a cake and games. Am I just having a pity-party-feel-sorry-for-Alisha moment? Or are my hurt feelings valid? So, the worst part is, I kinda lost it when I saw the scrapbook thing, since apprently this is a tradition (at least on night shift!). I felt the tears a comin', so I stuffed them. Then, my eyes started welling up, so I got up to the bathroom and tried some deep breathing. It worked for a minute. Before you knew it, I was back around everyone trying to stuff my feelings, until someone said "are you ok?" I lost it. I really didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to ruin my co-workers shower. After all, it was her day. Her day to be in the spotlight and surrounded by love. I didn't want to ruin that and I hope I didn't.

So...I ended up leaving. It was over anyway, but I didn't get a picture with her or to tell her she was gorgeous or say goodbye to the coworker moving out of state...In the end, not only am I bummed about the stuff I just listed, but I robbed myself of a good time and a good bye. Hopefully my coworkers don't think I'm an emotional space-case. Does motherhood do this to ya? Am I just really hormonal? Am I destined to be, what feels like, a blithering emotional, sensitive woman who's now sentenced to wearing her heart on her sleeve? Help me out here. Show a little honesty, but don't hurt my feelings. I've been known to cry.